“Your heart is free, have the courage to follow
it.” – Braveheart
it.” – Braveheart
It has been said that doing the same thing overand over again expecting a different result is the
definition of insanity. To the single girl, getting a
good man to settle down with is a feat many are
still struggling with. When I was younger, my
mother taught me to
faced with a problem. She taught me to search
myself first to see if there was anything I had
done or was doing wrong. She always used to
say it is only when you can honestly look inward
and not find anything wrong, that you can look
outside of yourself to figure out the root of the
problem.
These days I would like to see more singe ladies
apply that policy on life and relationships. Mostly
I hear girls say things like I am done with men,
or I just want to be single for a while or there
are no real men and so on and so forth. But in
all honesty, have you looked inwards and
checked on yourself first before poking accusing
fingers at the men? Could there be certain
misconceptions that you have about what or how
men ought to be that is affecting the way your
relationships are turning out? Have you thought
about the possibility that you just might be
handling things a bit wrong and probably have to
change tactics just a wee bit?
They say love is complicated, but in most cases
we women are the complicated ones, the ones
with an ego that we refuse to control, with daddy
issues that we refuse to prayerfully deal with,
the ones with so much emotional baggage only
Jesus himself could marry us! Think about it
today: what are the things that need to change
in your life and in the way you view love?
Relationships? If you were to meet you, would
you fall in love with you?
Below are 5 things I
believe every woman needs to know about love.
Even though the post is targeted at women
(men, don’t get too happy; yours is on the way),
I believe men as well could learn a thing or two
from this.
Enjoy and let me hear your feedbacks!
Love is NOT about SEX, or how good you are at
it
I think we as women pay too much emphasis on
this particular point. As much as a good sexual
relationship is important between a couple and
can help build intimacy, it is never going to be
the only reason a good man will stand by you or
fall in love with you. I have sadly observed many
a girl make this mistake thinking “If I just give it
to him real good, he will keep coming back to
me”. Ladies, please stop. There are far too many
virtues and attributes that you possess that you
just need to put forward so that a man can
notice you. Work on being a better person
outside of the bedroom; your manners, your
communication skills, your spirituality – and see
if this will make a difference in your love life or
not. I am not saying don’t have sex. The choice
to have it or not should be a personal one, but
just don’t let it be the number one thing.
believe every woman needs to know about love.
Even though the post is targeted at women
(men, don’t get too happy; yours is on the way),
I believe men as well could learn a thing or two
from this.
Enjoy and let me hear your feedbacks!
Love is NOT about SEX, or how good you are at
it
I think we as women pay too much emphasis on
this particular point. As much as a good sexual
relationship is important between a couple and
can help build intimacy, it is never going to be
the only reason a good man will stand by you or
fall in love with you. I have sadly observed many
a girl make this mistake thinking “If I just give it
to him real good, he will keep coming back to
me”. Ladies, please stop. There are far too many
virtues and attributes that you possess that you
just need to put forward so that a man can
notice you. Work on being a better person
outside of the bedroom; your manners, your
communication skills, your spirituality – and see
if this will make a difference in your love life or
not. I am not saying don’t have sex. The choice
to have it or not should be a personal one, but
just don’t let it be the number one thing.
Love is NOT about money
So, right, I know I am definitely going to step on
a few toes here. We all (men and women) love
money. We love the finer things of life, we want
security, we want a solid bank balance but lets
face it: the average woman likes, actually loves
money. The moment a man shows up looking like
he has some dough , we are gone like the wind.
He might be an assassin or violent for all we
care, so long as he has money we are game.
Some of us will not even talk to a man who is
not “smelling” of money or who has a fat
account written all over him. We believe we have
to marry Olorunsogo, ain’t nobody got time for
Surulere.
Ladies listen; the truth is some, not all of us are
going to marry into riches. The others are just
going to be Michelles to their Baracks and
support that man with a lot of potential and drive
until he makes it big, and even then there is still
a slight possibility that he won’t. And we do
possess the power to be able to do just that! So
quit waiting on the long line for some rich dude
who just might never show up and get on with
your job. You have not even begun to unlock
your God-given potential to effect change. You
will be shocked at the things you can accomplish
when you tap into that inner strength. Eventually,
you get a deeper level of satisfaction and
fulfilment when you see that man’s dreams (and
yours) and aspirations coming together and
unfolding before your very eyes. But please, if
you meet some super-rich dude asking for your
hand in marriage (honestly) ditch my advice and
marry. You only got one life to live. But if not,
and the only brothers showing up are not
necessarily on the same level of class as you
desire but are hardworking, resourceful, goal-
driven and have great, obvious potential, please
get on with your job. The earlier you start, the
better for you.
Love does NOT need you to become something
or someone else
In short, quit faking it! Get real, the real you is
easier to connect with and fall in love with than
that perfect you you are trying to project. Real
love only happens when you let go. I have seen
women sleep over at their man’s and refuse to
remove their make-up, or some who their men, in
3 years in a relationship, have never seen their
natural hair; always on their Brazilians, Peruvians
and Mongolians .
Girl, please! If that man cannot love you for you
the way you are, you are probably better off
without him. And I am sure it’s easier (and
cheaper) for him to go to Brazil and pick a girl
with all the real hair than pick one he knows is
wearing it fake. In reality, you know we ladies
only buy all these things to show off to each
other, because seriously the guys can’t tell the
difference and I am sure they ain’t really
bothered. We are the vain ones and seriously its
time to slow down and redirect our focus,
change our perspectives.
Learn to love yourself unconditionally, with no
excuses! Enough of the talk about being too fat,
or not going out without make-up, I am not
saying these things are not good, but please set
realistic limits. Men, I am sure are tired by now
of seeing human beings looking like barbie dolls.
That stuff is good on Nicki Minaj, not on you.
That is her brand, find your own.
Real sisters are a breath of fresh air, don’t be
afraid of you to the point where you are leaning
towards becoming someone else, just be the
best you you can be.
So, right, I know I am definitely going to step on
a few toes here. We all (men and women) love
money. We love the finer things of life, we want
security, we want a solid bank balance but lets
face it: the average woman likes, actually loves
money. The moment a man shows up looking like
he has some dough , we are gone like the wind.
He might be an assassin or violent for all we
care, so long as he has money we are game.
Some of us will not even talk to a man who is
not “smelling” of money or who has a fat
account written all over him. We believe we have
to marry Olorunsogo, ain’t nobody got time for
Surulere.
Ladies listen; the truth is some, not all of us are
going to marry into riches. The others are just
going to be Michelles to their Baracks and
support that man with a lot of potential and drive
until he makes it big, and even then there is still
a slight possibility that he won’t. And we do
possess the power to be able to do just that! So
quit waiting on the long line for some rich dude
who just might never show up and get on with
your job. You have not even begun to unlock
your God-given potential to effect change. You
will be shocked at the things you can accomplish
when you tap into that inner strength. Eventually,
you get a deeper level of satisfaction and
fulfilment when you see that man’s dreams (and
yours) and aspirations coming together and
unfolding before your very eyes. But please, if
you meet some super-rich dude asking for your
hand in marriage (honestly) ditch my advice and
marry. You only got one life to live. But if not,
and the only brothers showing up are not
necessarily on the same level of class as you
desire but are hardworking, resourceful, goal-
driven and have great, obvious potential, please
get on with your job. The earlier you start, the
better for you.
Love does NOT need you to become something
or someone else
In short, quit faking it! Get real, the real you is
easier to connect with and fall in love with than
that perfect you you are trying to project. Real
love only happens when you let go. I have seen
women sleep over at their man’s and refuse to
remove their make-up, or some who their men, in
3 years in a relationship, have never seen their
natural hair; always on their Brazilians, Peruvians
and Mongolians .
Girl, please! If that man cannot love you for you
the way you are, you are probably better off
without him. And I am sure it’s easier (and
cheaper) for him to go to Brazil and pick a girl
with all the real hair than pick one he knows is
wearing it fake. In reality, you know we ladies
only buy all these things to show off to each
other, because seriously the guys can’t tell the
difference and I am sure they ain’t really
bothered. We are the vain ones and seriously its
time to slow down and redirect our focus,
change our perspectives.
Learn to love yourself unconditionally, with no
excuses! Enough of the talk about being too fat,
or not going out without make-up, I am not
saying these things are not good, but please set
realistic limits. Men, I am sure are tired by now
of seeing human beings looking like barbie dolls.
That stuff is good on Nicki Minaj, not on you.
That is her brand, find your own.
Real sisters are a breath of fresh air, don’t be
afraid of you to the point where you are leaning
towards becoming someone else, just be the
best you you can be.
Love starts with you, but it is not just about you
So you don’t love yourself and you expect a man
to love you, eh? Or worse still, you love yourself
so much, it is so hard for anyone to please you,
let alone love you? Think again. Ladies, find a
balance. You need to love yourself enough to
still be able to make space for someone else in
your heart. Remember, relationships, marriages
especially, is not about 50/50, but 100/100, If
you already gave 110 to yourself, what more is
there to give? Or on the other hand, if you can’t
love yourself and all you do is moan about the
bad head you have when it comes to love, then
what can you give if you don’t have it?
Love is NOT a hustle
This one really gets to me, seeing 5-10 girls
hustling for one man. They know about each
other yet they stick around, hoping the guy will
know they are the real deal. Ladies, where is our
pride as women? Love ain’t no hustle, you don’t
have to beat down the next girl to get the
attention of ‘your’ man! You know we are just
making the men feel too cool with this attitude.
And then the worst thing I hear is ‘Ah, there are
too many women and very few men”….errr… so?
Does that mean you will not find your own
amongst those few? Real love usually finds you,
sister. Well, sometimes you gotta find it but…you
get my drift. I mean you have to be open and all,
but trust me our mothers did it well when they
waited for their men to come look for them and
believe me it still happens!
So, what other points can you think of? Let’s
discuss!
to love you, eh? Or worse still, you love yourself
so much, it is so hard for anyone to please you,
let alone love you? Think again. Ladies, find a
balance. You need to love yourself enough to
still be able to make space for someone else in
your heart. Remember, relationships, marriages
especially, is not about 50/50, but 100/100, If
you already gave 110 to yourself, what more is
there to give? Or on the other hand, if you can’t
love yourself and all you do is moan about the
bad head you have when it comes to love, then
what can you give if you don’t have it?
Love is NOT a hustle
This one really gets to me, seeing 5-10 girls
hustling for one man. They know about each
other yet they stick around, hoping the guy will
know they are the real deal. Ladies, where is our
pride as women? Love ain’t no hustle, you don’t
have to beat down the next girl to get the
attention of ‘your’ man! You know we are just
making the men feel too cool with this attitude.
And then the worst thing I hear is ‘Ah, there are
too many women and very few men”….errr… so?
Does that mean you will not find your own
amongst those few? Real love usually finds you,
sister. Well, sometimes you gotta find it but…you
get my drift. I mean you have to be open and all,
but trust me our mothers did it well when they
waited for their men to come look for them and
believe me it still happens!
So, what other points can you think of? Let’s
discuss!
Source: BellaNaija
Comments
Post a Comment